New Surfboard

Yes friends, it is official. Last Saturday I bought a fantastic long board surfboard from a very sincere gentleman of the Sunset District in San Francisco. I saw some photos, researched the specs and even checked a couple reviews prior to letting the seller know I was interested. That’s what one means when he or she says, “did their homework”, I am assuming?

Well as it turns out, I may very well have been writing a thesis with how much “homework” I have done over the past couple years on surfboards. I certainly don’t claim to be any kind of expert, but I do believe I can tell a good one from a bad. This be a good one. Johnny Rice, the legendary Native American shaper out of Santa Cruz, California produced the mold for this big fella and passed it along to Surftech to do the dirty work. The result is a 9’8” Tufflite deluxe, ready for long, slow point breaks and even allowing for some steeper walls and faster beach breaks thanks to a narrow pintail.

I expect that JR, or as he has recently been named, Baloo, will perform really well next weekend in Santa Cruz. I chose Baloo because the board reminds me of that big blue-gray bear from the Jungle Book. The board is big, blue and exudes an aura of laidback fun. Not that hard work won’t be involved, but these will be labors of love.

Looking at the board and knowing that I can’t get it into the water until the weekend should be a challenge in its self - personal day, please!

A review of the boards performance will be posted as soon as I return from the beach, but until then, enjoy some dialog between the board and some of the other stationery devices on our deck:

Bird Cage: look at this guy, plastic, shiny, waxy, it’s like, pick a material and be consistent!

Table: oh come on now, Birdcage. Just because he isn’t all rusty…

Weber Q Grill: hold on there just a minute Bird Cage, it looks like you have been in Corbett for the last 15 years considering your lack of technological know-how. That center fin isn’t just some plastic cut-out. That there, sir, is carbon fiber. See the gray and black weave? Ballin!

Bird Cage: okay gang up on the old man. I am pretty sure I was keeping birds safe from cats before that long board shape was even thought up.

Table: unless you are 45 years old, I am pretty sure we can disregard your last comment.

Cactus: Ballin! Just be careful putting that thing on the deck, remember, we don’t have very long, or very thick roots. One side-swipe from Baloo and I’m mince meat!

Weber Q Grill: don’t even worry about it Cactus, Kyle is careful. Remember when you got that crazy growth that turned into a flower? You were the bell of the ball around these here deck parts!

Cactus: yup, yup, yup…you saw the photographs, right? I mean, common, a cactus, with a 6-inch protruding flower; pretty nice!

Weber Q Grill stand (aka Rubbermaid container): is he ever going to get the official stand for you, Weber Q grill? I’m squished!

*Rubbermaid container’s pleas are ignored as usual.

Baloo: “lookin’ for love in all the wrong plac…” oh, pardon my singing new friends, how’s everyone doing?

*general rumbling of greetings from the porch items.

 Baloo: I’m new guy, Johnny Rice 9-8. Some know me as The Performer (model name). You guys can use Baloo though, bosses orders.

Bird Cage: wait just one minute are you saying you’re the boss, and that you are ordering us to call you Baloo?

Baloo: quite the contrary little cage guy. Those words were handed down from Kyle – I just repeat.

Bird Cage: yep, repeat. Just like there are about a million boards out there just like you. I’ve seen your kind before. I’ve changed hands too. I know what it is like to no longer be needed by someone…and it sucks! That’s how you got here, right? Someone didn’t want you any more? Not enough room for you? Too old? Smells like bird %$*#?

Baloo: ha ha, cool your jets Cage. For number one, no, I don’t smell like bird poop, seeing as how I never acted as a home for one. Secondly, Joe wanted to keep me, but he had two other boards, a longer one than me and a shorter, there was just no need for a mid-range. And that is why he offered me up on Craigslist. Spread the wealth, you know? Let someone else have a go on the big blue rocket!

Table: sure of his value, but down to Earth. I’m liking this guy. Good to meet you, Baloo.

*Baloo winks at Table with his leash loop.

Vintage Water Skis: heyo! Finally something custom on the deck other than us and this beer pong table. What it is, Baloo? Any chance on putting in a good word for us to get our wood refinished? The binding on the slalom ski could use a little work too.

Binding on slalom ski: (coughing horribly) p-p-please, anything will help.

Baloo: of course, of course; you guys are family!

Table: see, look at this guy, classy all the way from the nose to the tail.

Bird Cage: I hear ya’, Table. Baloo, you’re a good guy, important guy. Welcome to the fam!